










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 503 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
800 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 542 | 21% |
| Smokes | 404 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 705 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 895 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $496,797 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 422 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kas vyxta | 72% | 32 |
| #2 | kosovo vilidzeriz | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | ❤ n3ver ❤ | 71% | 38 |
| #4 | ceip Hayes | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | wahjwadbhawbdhaw | 61% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wahjwadbhawbdhaw | 7 | 0.0176 |
| #2 | kas vyxta | 6 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | ❤ n3ver ❤ | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | ceip Hayes | 4 | 0.0130 |
| #5 | SexySpinach | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤ n3ver ❤ | 225 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #2 | kas vyxta | 117 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | SexySpinach | 82 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | wahjwadbhawbdhaw | 73 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | ceip Hayes | 73 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wahjwadbhawbdhaw | +4.71 | 76 | 53 |
| #2 | ceip Hayes | +4.20 | 84 | 68 |
| #3 | ❤ n3ver ❤ | +2.82 | 80 | 66 |
| #4 | kosovo vilidzeriz | +2.49 | 73 | 59 |
| #5 | leonease ^V^ | +0.47 | 46 | 56 |





