








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1779 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




190 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5926 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6776 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5482 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4463 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3992 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,439,764 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 498 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





