










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 580 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,244 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1897 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1694 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1352 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1301 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $261,600 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caesar | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | Frankie | 80% | 25 |
| #3 | MORLAVERSOVS | 77% | 13 |
| #4 | don culo | 69% | 32 |
| #5 | Gyndo | 64% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LindereN | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | StewieGrif | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | don culo | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Gyndo | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LindereN | 258 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | StewieGrif | 186 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | don culo | 132 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | the killer | 112 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | _W_ Impetuz | 102 | 0.17 | 2 min |





