








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 92 matches | ||
| Wingman | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Esplay | 21 matches | 1,712 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




98 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4658 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,063 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5408 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1926 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 4020 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2709 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,537,403 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2027 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





