








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 636 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,748 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 929 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1273 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 782 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 764 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $457,693 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HaTay Human | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | void | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | dumb fuck | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | WinNguyen | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HaTay Human | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | void | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | dumb fuck | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | WinNguyen | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HaTay Human | 4 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | dumb fuck | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dumb fuck | 170 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | HaTay Human | 113 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #3 | void | 75 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | WinNguyen | 31 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W1shh | +1.77 | 78 | 45 |
| #2 | void | +1.70 | 80 | 42 |
| #3 | WinNguyen | +1.61 | 58 | 62 |
| #4 | dumb fuck | +1.22 | 83 | 48 |
| #5 | HaTay Human | +0.48 | 71 | 44 |





