










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 592 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




240 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5738 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,671 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 729 | 8% |
| Smokes | 2370 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2091 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4481 | 46% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,738,337 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2514 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | djsmellyballs | 38% | 52 |
| #2 | Cru | 29% | 73 |
| #3 | silly goober | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | djsmellyballs | 38% | 52 |
| #2 | Cru | 29% | 73 |
| #3 | silly goober | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cru | 61 | 0.0452 |
| #2 | djsmellyballs | 26 | 0.0278 |
| #3 | silly goober | 20 | 0.0317 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cru | 103 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | djsmellyballs | 49 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | silly goober | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | silly goober | +2.39 | 80 | 30 |
| #2 | Cru | +1.51 | 36 | 18 |
| #3 | djsmellyballs | +0.15 | 36 | 20 |
| #4 | Tidal | -1.06 | 35 | 23 |





