








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 338 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 963 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3607 | 49% |
| HE Grenades | 1183 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1660 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $506,467 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 598 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | munch | 40% | 52 |
| #2 | nyok | 39% | 97 |
| #3 | Giovanni Phillips | 37% | 27 |
| #4 | TonY | 34% | 53 |
| #5 | sheffy | 31% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | munch | 40% | 52 |
| #2 | nyok | 39% | 97 |
| #3 | Giovanni Phillips | 37% | 27 |
| #4 | TonY | 34% | 53 |
| #5 | sheffy | 31% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nyok | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Giovanni Phillips | 5 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | sheffy | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | munch | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | TonY | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nyok | 242 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | sheffy | 168 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Giovanni Phillips | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | munch | 27 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | TonY | 20 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nyok | +1.84 | 59 | 56 |
| #2 | Giovanni Phillips | +0.92 | 67 | 49 |
| #3 | sheffy | +0.33 | 40 | 57 |
| #4 | TonY | +0.10 | 64 | 34 |
| #5 | JUMO | -1.41 | 27 | 34 |





