








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 474 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,571 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1887 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1633 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 887 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2164 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $637,829 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 334 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just_Suds | 44% | 48 |
| #2 | zeropa | 41% | 22 |
| #3 | DropBear | 41% | 177 |
| #4 | Patientia | 39% | 36 |
| #5 | grrrr | 36% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just_Suds | 44% | 48 |
| #2 | zeropa | 41% | 22 |
| #3 | DropBear | 41% | 177 |
| #4 | Patientia | 39% | 36 |
| #5 | grrrr | 36% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DropBear | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | grrrr | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Just_Suds | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Patientia | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DropBear | 242 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | Just_Suds | 172 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | grrrr | 75 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | zeropa | 59 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Patientia | 9 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just_Suds | +5.05 | 80 | 50 |
| #2 | zeropa | +1.75 | 63 | 69 |
| #3 | Patientia | -0.19 | 56 | 48 |
| #4 | Waffle | -0.22 | 61 | 39 |
| #5 | DropBear | -3.47 | 48 | 59 |





