








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 556 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 342 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3201 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1471 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1826 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1879 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1354 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,918,896 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiinGScaar | Fearlock | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | Christian Steiffen | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | Nüse | 53% | 244 |
| #4 | NüseNorman | 53% | 97 |
| #5 | Cornelius Fillmore | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Christian Steiffen | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | Nüse | 53% | 244 |
| #4 | NüseNorman | 53% | 97 |
| #5 | Cornelius Fillmore | 48% | 23 |
| #6 | Stevee | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nüse | 23 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | NüseNorman | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Cornelius Fillmore | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Christian Steiffen | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Stevee | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nüse | 615 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | NüseNorman | 244 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | KiinGScaar | Fearlock | 104 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Christian Steiffen | 65 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cornelius Fillmore | 32 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiinGScaar | Fearlock | +1.61 | 55 | 70 |
| #2 | Ricky Spanish | +1.40 | 50 | 46 |
| #3 | Cornelius Fillmore | -0.39 | 39 | 47 |
| #4 | Nüse | -1.02 | 18 | 54 |
| #5 | NüseNorman | -1.42 | 19 | 58 |





