










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 512 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3514 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3598 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4292 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4356 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6144 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,351,277 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1881 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azi Tran | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Heineken Man | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Ch33SY._ | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | duko™ | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | bundaumamtom | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bundaumamtom | 348 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Ch33SY._ | 334 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | Heineken Man | 295 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #4 | Azi Tran | 92 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | duko™ | 85 | 0.07 | 2 min |





