








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
738 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1341 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1007 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1112 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 530 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $221,981 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anerkin Skyvodker | 55% | 22 |
| #2 | DHL_Delivery | 45% | 44 |
| #3 | Darthfelix | 45% | 75 |
| #4 | Granatenharry1 | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | crkman | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DHL_Delivery | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Darthfelix | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | chancer | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Staubsauger4711 | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Anerkin Skyvodker | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chancer | 175 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Darthfelix | 83 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Anerkin Skyvodker | 77 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Katze | 70 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | Staubsauger4711 | 54 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Granatenharry1 | +4.44 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | Katze | +1.89 | 66 | 52 |
| #3 | Anerkin Skyvodker | +1.84 | 59 | 57 |
| #4 | Darthfelix | +1.14 | 61 | 59 |
| #5 | ExtremschlachterHorst | +0.82 | 52 | 66 |





