








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1135 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,561 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1035 | 23% |
| Smokes | 819 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1382 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1325 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $489,270 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | my nem i jeff | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | Tamai | 50% | 56 |
| #3 | Colonia | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | gmkaro | 45% | 124 |
| #5 | DRU 72 | Taylor Whifft | 44% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Colonia | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | gmkaro | 45% | 124 |
| #5 | DRU 72 | Taylor Whifft | 44% | 108 |
| #6 | Dynamicdx | 42% | 12 |
| #7 | OK. | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRU 72 | Taylor Whifft | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | gmkaro | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Tamai | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Colonia | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gmkaro | 417 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | my nem i jeff | 160 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #3 | DRU 72 | Taylor Whifft | 99 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Tamai | 73 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Colonia | 61 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | my nem i jeff | +5.25 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | DRU 72 | Taylor Whifft | +4.74 | 77 | 50 |
| #3 | gmkaro | +1.09 | 48 | 46 |
| #4 | OK. | +0.19 | 59 | 36 |
| #5 | Dynamicdx | -1.13 | 58 | 51 |





