








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1045 | 26% |
| Smokes | 614 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1539 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 868 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $654,448 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [πΎΓ
π] Martin | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | zi|ica | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | xBZYx | 47% | 36 |
| #4 | beach | 47% | 77 |
| #5 | TYCHUS | 44% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TYCHUS | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | beach | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | hatsen | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | zi|ica | 1 | 0.0048 |





