








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Wingman | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1923 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1353 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3285 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2855 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2713 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $725,972 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrCapitaan | 48% | 65 |
| #2 | makkE | 47% | 74 |
| #3 | yllis | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | ThePapiBear | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrCapitaan | 48% | 65 |
| #2 | makkE | 47% | 74 |
| #3 | yllis | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | ThePapiBear | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | makkE | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | MrCapitaan | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ThePapiBear | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrCapitaan | 128 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | makkE | 117 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | yllis | 60 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | ThePapiBear | 25 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrCapitaan | +2.29 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | ThePapiBear | +0.34 | 73 | 54 |
| #3 | Valle | Säästökierros | -0.31 | 29 | 49 |
| #4 | makkE | -0.90 | 58 | 59 |
| #5 | yllis | -2.30 | 60 | 64 |





