








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 290 matches | ||
| Wingman | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




98 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8402 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4983 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3342 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3504 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2224 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,549,905 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Garnuch | 60% | 275 |
| #2 | Lukaszooo | 54% | 52 |
| #3 | Giciu | 52% | 96 |
| #4 | KamsoSigmaboy's | 51% | 138 |
| #5 | 1.9 TDI skins.army | 46% | 85 |





