








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,909 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 889 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1122 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 945 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 953 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $493,371 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GapjLaCook ⛟ | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Rozxje⛟ | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | CEO of Jobless ⛟ | 45% | 91 |
| #4 | Admiral Mambo | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GapjLaCook ⛟ | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Rozxje⛟ | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | CEO of Jobless ⛟ | 45% | 91 |
| #4 | Admiral Mambo | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CEO of Jobless ⛟ | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Rozxje⛟ | 2 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CEO of Jobless ⛟ | 449 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #2 | Rozxje⛟ | 55 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Admiral Mambo | 12 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | GapjLaCook ⛟ | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rozxje⛟ | +2.07 | 48 | 73 |
| #2 | PopCat^2 ⛟ | +1.33 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | GapjLaCook ⛟ | +1.26 | 67 | 31 |
| #4 | CEO of Jobless ⛟ | -2.25 | 44 | 54 |
| #5 | Admiral Mambo | -6.59 | 17 | 21 |





