








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1790 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 726 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 120 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




267 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,001 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5143 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5195 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 8411 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 8252 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,004,303 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 666 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JFL | 56% | 196 |
| #2 | XelaG | 55% | 569 |
| #3 | My ******* prime (SPAWN) | 55% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JFL | 56% | 196 |
| #2 | XelaG | 55% | 569 |
| #3 | My ******* prime (SPAWN) | 55% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XelaG | 190 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | JFL | 114 | 0.0288 |
| #3 | My ******* prime (SPAWN) | 16 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XelaG | 691 | 0.06 | 16 min |
| #2 | JFL | 464 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | My ******* prime (SPAWN) | 233 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | My ******* prime (SPAWN) | +4.25 | 68 | 52 |
| #2 | JFL | +1.03 | 63 | 56 |
| #3 | XelaG | +0.62 | 61 | 50 |
| #4 | 8 9 1 0 | +0.18 | 37 | 51 |





