








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 935 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4072 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3618 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3612 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1909 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3988 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,395,560 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Itomis | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | ♥ BIG PONEY ♥ | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | bonjour | 55% | 223 |
| #4 | Ebonsoir | 53% | 99 |
| #5 | 𝗗𝗔𝗥𝗞_𝗖𝗛𝗘 | 51% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ♥ BIG PONEY ♥ | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | bonjour | 55% | 223 |
| #4 | Ebonsoir | 53% | 99 |
| #5 | 𝗗𝗔𝗥𝗞_𝗖𝗛𝗘 | 51% | 248 |
| #6 | return | 49% | 264 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | return | 26 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | 𝗗𝗔𝗥𝗞_𝗖𝗛𝗘 | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | bonjour | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Ebonsoir | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | ♥ BIG PONEY ♥ | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | return | 1448 | 0.27 | 26 min |
| #2 | bonjour | 1239 | 0.27 | 29 min |
| #3 | 𝗗𝗔𝗥𝗞_𝗖𝗛𝗘 | 621 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | Ebonsoir | 518 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #5 | ♥ BIG PONEY ♥ | 301 | 0.41 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Itomis | +3.35 | 63 | 72 |
| #2 | bonjour | +2.97 | 63 | 69 |
| #3 | Ebonsoir | +2.75 | 67 | 73 |
| #4 | zozioette | +1.43 | 67 | 57 |
| #5 | return | -1.20 | 45 | 53 |





