








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 334 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 81 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4247 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3386 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2889 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1944 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2449 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,647,296 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apppppa | 113 | 0.0196 |
| #2 | du ma may | 109 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | york | 97 | 0.0190 |
| #4 | jacob | 56 | 0.0169 |
| #5 | dildoinstructor101 | 54 | 0.0180 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apppppa | 1573 | 0.27 | 40 min |
| #2 | dildoinstructor101 | 1395 | 0.47 | 42 min |
| #3 | du ma may | 1312 | 0.15 | 34 min |
| #4 | york | 815 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #5 | jacob | 536 | 0.16 | 16 min |





