








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 495 | 23% |
| Smokes | 611 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 556 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 492 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $159,634 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RitchUK#1Larper | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Tiggs87 | 43% | 30 |
| #3 | vvv | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | Sheldon Lee Cooper You Dog | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | MooMoofish | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Tiggs87 | 43% | 30 |
| #3 | vvv | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | Sheldon Lee Cooper You Dog | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | MooMoofish | 39% | 28 |
| #6 | toebuyass | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheldon Lee Cooper You Dog | 6 | 0.0181 |
| #2 | RitchUK#1Larper | 3 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | MooMoofish | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | toebuyass | 1 | 0.0196 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tiggs87 | 68 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | RitchUK#1Larper | 46 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | Sheldon Lee Cooper You Dog | 36 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | MooMoofish | 20 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | vvv | 4 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ricardo "My Midget" Vasconcelos | +2.77 | 60 | 65 |
| #2 | Tiggs87 | -0.47 | 27 | 39 |
| #3 | RitchUK#1Larper | -2.16 | 27 | 34 |
| #4 | vvv | -2.92 | 61 | 28 |
| #5 | Sheldon Lee Cooper You Dog | -4.27 | 13 | 41 |





