








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 770 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 143 matches | ||
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3498 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,946 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4584 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3799 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2701 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 862 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,157,710 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Liquor | 52% | 164 |
| #2 | kikkelihiiri | 49% | 119 |
| #3 | Shankelele | 48% | 240 |
| #4 | dawgh. | 48% | 79 |
| #5 | Leijonanaa | 48% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Leijonanaa | 48% | 120 |
| #6 | JoKo | 47% | 200 |
| #7 | runq | 46% | 188 |
| #8 | bruuuuup | 44% | 64 |
| #9 | Fonkkan Al Gaib | 38% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Liquor | 16 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | kikkelihiiri | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | JoKo | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Shankelele | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Leijonanaa | 6 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shankelele | 872 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #2 | runq | 640 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #3 | kikkelihiiri | 433 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | The Liquor | 428 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #5 | Leijonanaa | 406 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Liquor | +3.04 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | murphY | +2.62 | 62 | 68 |
| #3 | dawgh. | +0.77 | 74 | 62 |
| #4 | Shankelele | +0.68 | 67 | 68 |
| #5 | Fonkkan Al Gaib | +0.42 | 50 | 61 |





