








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2101 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,611 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 669 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1213 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1733 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1996 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $599,270 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | fazuliar | 56% | 55 |
| #3 | danodangl ☔ | 49% | 166 |
| #4 | KovošrotvofvlakuR601smerŽilina | 47% | 110 |
| #5 | Hatsune Miku enjoyer ᗜˬᗜ | 45% | 161 |
| #6 | MerLiN | 37% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danodangl ☔ | 21 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Hatsune Miku enjoyer ᗜˬᗜ | 13 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | KovošrotvofvlakuR601smerŽilina | 12 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | fazuliar | 7 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | MerLiN | 6 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danodangl ☔ | +2.11 | 66 | 47 |
| #2 | Šnicel | +1.80 | 66 | 50 |
| #3 | Hatsune Miku enjoyer ᗜˬᗜ | +0.78 | 66 | 58 |
| #4 | fazuliar | -1.53 | 67 | 29 |
| #5 | KovošrotvofvlakuR601smerŽilina | -2.17 | 41 | 52 |





