








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1546 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,523 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 660 | 19% |
| Smokes | 898 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1144 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 821 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $626,415 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 40% | 10 | ||
| 39% | 23 | ||
| #8 | jedovaty potkan | 36% | 11 |
| #9 | 1.8 GDI Mitsubishi PAJERO 4x4 | 35% | 63 |
| 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DecibeL | 42 | 0.0233 |
| #2 | jedovaty potkan | 9 | 0.0377 |
| #3 | GONE | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | 1.8 GDI Mitsubishi PAJERO 4x4 | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | ✪ chaYo | 4 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DecibeL | 407 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | 1.8 GDI Mitsubishi PAJERO 4x4 | 182 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✪ chaYo | 75 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | GONE | 62 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| 44 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ chaYo | +3.78 | 82 | 50 |
| #2 | jedovaty potkan | +2.80 | 74 | 38 |
| #3 | DecibeL | +2.62 | 73 | 68 |
| #4 | blondyiS_ | +0.66 | 65 | 47 |
| +0.40 | 76 | 45 |





