








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 479 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1451 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,802 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2020 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1317 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 800 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 665 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $313,603 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 572 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SKIMMO | 44% | 9 |
| #7 | Ezzoud | 40% | 10 |
| #8 | MR.RED© | 40% | 10 |
| #9 | wxst | 33% | 18 |
| #10 | Helle Härmatis | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MULL soolikas | 12 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | pelmeen | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | yk | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Reinhard Raspel | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | wxst | 2 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pelmeen | 395 | 0.33 | 8 min |
| #2 | MULL soolikas | 341 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | yk | 173 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Reinhard Raspel | 107 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | SKIMMO | 54 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ezzoud | +5.11 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | yk | +3.72 | 72 | 63 |
| #3 | PrismaK | +2.00 | 75 | 57 |
| #4 | pelmeen | +0.45 | 79 | 57 |
| #5 | MULL soolikas | -0.46 | 48 | 67 |





