








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2355 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,361 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1057 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2693 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2425 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2186 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,050,982 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Wildewachtel3 | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | ariives | 52% | 97 |
| #3 | reising | 48% | 60 |
| #4 | ✪ Ra1jk | 48% | 79 |
| #5 | ✪ OberstLeutnantYuma | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Wildewachtel3 | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | ariives | 52% | 97 |
| #3 | reising | 48% | 60 |
| #4 | ✪ Ra1jk | 48% | 79 |
| #5 | ✪ OberstLeutnantYuma | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Ra1jk | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | reising | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | ✪ Wildewachtel3 | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Ra1jk | 211 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | ariives | 204 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | reising | 146 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ Wildewachtel3 | 65 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✪ OberstLeutnantYuma | 23 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reising | +0.99 | 62 | 68 |
| #2 | ✪ Ra1jk | +0.69 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | Thebearsnipes | +0.42 | 56 | 53 |
| #4 | ✪ OberstLeutnantYuma | -1.06 | 68 | 51 |
| #5 | ✪ Wildewachtel3 | -1.26 | 60 | 51 |





