








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 449 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6129 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5154 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4156 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4149 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,052,111 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 747 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr finland | 812 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #2 | el negro blanco | 607 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #3 | Backpack Rucksack | 483 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | ♛AWPollo13♛ | 461 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | Heribert Illig | 445 | 0.11 | 10 min |





