










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 255 | 6% |
| Smokes | 1305 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1689 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1040 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,139 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ᵉʳᵈberit ✪ ♥ | 38% | 26 |
| #8 | Besoffene Butter Birnen Biene | 33% | 12 |
| #9 | Definetely not Bella. | 29% | 34 |
| #10 | Systema95 | 29% | 28 |
| #11 | Amnesie | 27% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LordSnakezz | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Amnesie | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | ✪ Wolle ✪ | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | ᵉʳᵈberit ✪ ♥ | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Deerox | 2 | 0.0017 |





