








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 497 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Esplay | 15 matches | 1,557 | |
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,257 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2169 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2401 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2345 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2342 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,365,104 of utility $236 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 879 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stampe | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Gokkeblomst | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Mammut | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | Moelmer | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | B8tman | 56% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mammut | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | Moelmer | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | B8tman | 56% | 63 |
| #6 | ✯phoenix✯ | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | MADS | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B8tman | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Gokkeblomst | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B8tman | 131 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Gokkeblomst | 90 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | Mammut | 64 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Stampe | 45 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✯phoenix✯ | 39 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stampe | +4.33 | 67 | 69 |
| #2 | Gokkeblomst | +0.92 | 56 | 74 |
| #3 | B8tman | +0.53 | 59 | 69 |
| #4 | Mammut | +0.26 | 57 | 76 |
| #5 | KrOlle | -0.42 | 61 | 60 |





