








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,674 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1773 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1197 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 791 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 913 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $426,769 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | 2 | 36% | 11 |
| #14 | 揽月 | 33% | 15 |
| #15 | ikun | 33% | 43 |
| #16 | YUqian | 25% | 8 |
| #17 | Rc.s | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 寻常的高手 | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Hiki | 5 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | 巴巴托斯干点正事吧! | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | 我是不適要改一下名字 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | ikun | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 我是不適要改一下名字 | 220 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | ikun | 159 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | 寻常的高手 | 130 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hiki | 83 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | 巴巴托斯干点正事吧! | 55 | 0.08 | 1 min |





