










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1454 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1124 | 43% |
| Smokes | 560 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 64 | 2% |
| Molotovs | 839 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $506,266 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 249 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tr6shpanda | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | King | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | CozChaos | 4 | 0.0156 |
| #4 | Deadman | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Ⓟ𝔬𝔩𝔬 | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tr6shpanda | 157 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Angel⚕ | 37 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | 2004 Toyota Tacoma | 23 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Deadman | 20 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | King | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |





