








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1443 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 441 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 290 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 97 matches | ||
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10282 | 34% |
| Smokes | 6870 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8029 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5236 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,607,173 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1947 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SANTANA | 51% | 181 |
| #2 | Nagato pain | 47% | 91 |
| #3 | KermitTheFrogDog | 46% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SANTANA | 51% | 181 |
| #2 | Nagato pain | 47% | 91 |
| #3 | KermitTheFrogDog | 46% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KermitTheFrogDog | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | SANTANA | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Nagato pain | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SANTANA | 531 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | KermitTheFrogDog | 396 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Nagato pain | 182 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KermitTheFrogDog | +2.32 | 67 | 53 |
| #2 | Honk | +0.34 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | SANTANA | -0.55 | 52 | 56 |
| #4 | Nagato pain | -2.04 | 56 | 44 |





