








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1396 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,395 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1027 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1713 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2433 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1222 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $500,494 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zijarettn | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | R3mix | 47% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zijarettn | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | R3mix | 47% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R3mix | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Zijarettn | 3 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R3mix | 419 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | Zijarettn | 94 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zijarettn | +2.14 | 35 | 70 |
| #2 | R3mix | +1.43 | 43 | 72 |
| #3 | ѕмσкєιт | -1.63 | 34 | 46 |





