








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 166 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2117 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 768 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1884 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1569 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1648 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $387,868 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 855 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





