








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 547 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1434 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 108 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 901 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $544,782 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neMY | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | Onyx | 53% | 36 |
| #3 | SKC.1V fMMM | 50% | 62 |
| #4 | Crabux IV | 47% | 102 |
| #5 | GrasDesCuisses | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neMY | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | Onyx | 53% | 36 |
| #3 | SKC.1V fMMM | 50% | 62 |
| #4 | Crabux IV | 47% | 102 |
| #5 | GrasDesCuisses | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crabux IV | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Onyx | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | GrasDesCuisses | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | SKC.1V fMMM | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | neMY | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crabux IV | 282 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | neMY | 203 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | SKC.1V fMMM | 107 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Onyx | 92 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | GrasDesCuisses | 34 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crabux IV | +2.39 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | neMY | +1.71 | 70 | 68 |
| #3 | Onyx | +0.05 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | SKC.1V fMMM | -0.37 | 67 | 57 |
| #5 | Uzu | -1.31 | 66 | 37 |





