








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 145 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 497 | 21% |
| Smokes | 368 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 585 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 879 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $89,497 of utility $24 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3986 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | camera | 38% | 53 |
| #2 | i convert balance | 29% | 62 |
| #3 | ᴄɴᴡᴇ. Polski Masuka | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | camera | 38% | 53 |
| #2 | i convert balance | 29% | 62 |
| #3 | ᴄɴᴡᴇ. Polski Masuka | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | camera | 26 | 0.0324 |
| #2 | i convert balance | 23 | 0.0214 |
| #3 | ᴄɴᴡᴇ. Polski Masuka | 11 | 0.0256 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i convert balance | 77 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | ᴄɴᴡᴇ. Polski Masuka | 74 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | camera | 36 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | camera | +1.83 | 27 | 31 |
| #2 | i convert balance | +0.95 | 12 | 18 |
| #3 | ᴄɴᴡᴇ. Polski Masuka | -1.94 | 8 | 31 |
| #4 | Autism is my power | -3.70 | 4 | 16 |





