








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 480 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4117 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,023 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4819 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6535 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1798 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3871 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,650,774 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MOXQUITO | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | Retroyd | 55% | 95 |
| #3 | ticoliRo | 49% | 144 |
| #4 | Alegro | 49% | 127 |
| #5 | jojo | 48% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Alegro | 49% | 127 |
| #5 | jojo | 48% | 155 |
| #6 | Vini | 43% | 63 |
| #7 | bibi | 40% | 75 |
| #8 | Default ks | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jojo | 18 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Retroyd | 11 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | ticoliRo | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Alegro | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Default ks | 3 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jojo | 582 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | Retroyd | 274 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | ticoliRo | 262 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Alegro | 258 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Vini | 154 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Retroyd | +3.67 | 90 | 58 |
| #2 | Vini | +1.19 | 62 | 57 |
| #3 | ticoliRo | +0.74 | 63 | 58 |
| #4 | Alegro | +0.03 | 60 | 69 |
| #5 | MOXQUITO | -0.00 | 67 | 54 |





