








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
387 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 226 | 12% |
| Smokes | 850 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 250 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 597 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $79,710 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swirty | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | SADCATCS2 | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Balivok | 35% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swirty | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | SADCATCS2 | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Balivok | 35% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Balivok | 8 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Balivok | 30 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #2 | Swirty | 9 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | SADCATCS2 | 7 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SADCATCS2 | +9.84 | 87 | 27 |
| #2 | Balivok | +4.95 | 67 | 37 |
| #3 | Swirty | +4.86 | 75 | 30 |
| #4 | P3T3R | -3.07 | 27 | 31 |





