








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 322 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,858 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1710 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1256 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1406 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1486 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,331,462 of utility $293 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 665 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wenus | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | MF DOOM | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | Wenus | 56% | 109 |
| #4 | Karskit | 38% | 34 |
| #5 | thorns. | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wenus | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | MF DOOM | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | Wenus | 56% | 109 |
| #4 | Karskit | 38% | 34 |
| #5 | thorns. | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wenus | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | MF DOOM | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Karskit | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | thorns. | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wenus | 168 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | MF DOOM | 73 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | thorns. | 52 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Karskit | 48 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Wenus | 24 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wenus | +2.64 | 75 | 50 |
| #2 | Wenus | +2.13 | 79 | 45 |
| #3 | MF DOOM | +1.27 | 73 | 39 |
| #4 | ARTeMis | +0.69 | 75 | 55 |
| #5 | thorns. | -2.13 | 55 | 55 |





