








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 341 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 230 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,797 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3536 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2902 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3579 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2780 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $785,540 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nahassa | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | lollythelol | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | m0rt0n | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | syrensoN | 45% | 85 |
| #5 | Exotic | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nahassa | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | lollythelol | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | m0rt0n | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | syrensoN | 45% | 85 |
| #5 | Exotic | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | syrensoN | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | lollythelol | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Exotic | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Nahassa | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | syrensoN | 229 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | lollythelol | 97 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #3 | Exotic | 56 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nahassa | 45 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | m0rt0n | 38 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lollythelol | +4.86 | 71 | 61 |
| #2 | Nahassa | +2.76 | 67 | 82 |
| #3 | D3agleD3str0yer | +0.64 | 42 | 73 |
| #4 | syrensoN | -1.37 | 47 | 68 |
| #5 | m0rt0n | -1.44 | 53 | 60 |





