








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 761 | 33% |
| Smokes | 680 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 352 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 515 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $83,838 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peachyyy | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | 瓦尼亚 | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | doog | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Pr0digy | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | RC1 | 61% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 瓦尼亚 | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | doog | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Pr0digy | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | RC1 | 61% | 28 |
| #6 | ✪B-12 | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pr0digy | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪B-12 | 46 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | Pr0digy | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | RC1 | 37 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | 瓦尼亚 | 15 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #5 | Peachyyy | 8 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪B-12 | +2.51 | 88 | 54 |
| #2 | Peachyyy | +1.63 | 81 | 45 |
| #3 | Pr0digy | +1.40 | 68 | 63 |
| #4 | doog | -0.14 | 64 | 30 |
| #5 | RC1 | -0.31 | 61 | 59 |





