








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
199 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 82 | 19% |
| Smokes | 73 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 161 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 121 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $46,531 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eierkocher Geissini | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Chris | 1 | 0.0147 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uphill | 41 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | Eierkocher Geissini | 19 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Chris | 8 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | MonsterGaming | 5 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | d.Z | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eierkocher Geissini | +3.97 | 68 | 61 |
| #2 | X Æ A-XII | +2.54 | 66 | 42 |
| #3 | MonsterGaming | +1.69 | 48 | 51 |
| #4 | Chris | +0.63 | 30 | 65 |
| #5 | uphill | +0.61 | 58 | 55 |





