








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 709 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2752 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2051 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1745 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1295 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $635,694 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 390 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Mr.Grinch | 41% | 27 |
| #15 | ✯TuSSuDuFT✯ | 33% | 15 |
| #16 | rjoma rifilinn kar98 | 32% | 22 |
| #17 | Metalboy | 28% | 29 |
| #18 | JohnSwole | 14% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perla | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Tropical | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Mr.Grinch | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Mósi | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | .::Nori_PuMa::. | 1 | 0.0012 |





