








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 98 matches | ||
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




141 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2416 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,608 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2156 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2154 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2157 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1141 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,432,287 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mostly Harmless | 57% | 51 |
| #2 | JuJu | 51% | 253 |
| #3 | Bosh | 50% | 359 |
| #4 | obalex | 49% | 354 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mostly Harmless | 57% | 51 |
| #2 | JuJu | 51% | 253 |
| #3 | Bosh | 50% | 359 |
| #4 | obalex | 49% | 354 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bosh | 96 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | JuJu | 53 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | obalex | 30 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Mostly Harmless | 13 | 0.0131 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bosh | 1414 | 0.20 | 32 min |
| #2 | obalex | 1227 | 0.17 | 31 min |
| #3 | JuJu | 475 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | Mostly Harmless | 89 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bosh | +6.25 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | Mostly Harmless | +1.65 | 79 | 55 |
| #3 | obalex | -0.50 | 72 | 64 |
| #4 | ALADEEN | -1.22 | 50 | 40 |
| #5 | JuJu | -4.55 | 43 | 47 |





