








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 467 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 81 matches | 1,584 | |
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 921 | 43% |
| Smokes | 477 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 338 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 391 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $423,752 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 352 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yy | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | 🤹 | 61% | 44 |
| #3 | mb | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | slizzarn | 59% | 59 |
| #5 | Bobli | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | slizzarn | 59% | 59 |
| #5 | Bobli | 56% | 18 |
| #6 | Jordgubbe 🍓 | 55% | 11 |
| #7 | elsa | 54% | 39 |
| #8 | noah | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slizzarn | 17 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | 🤹 | 9 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | mb | 5 | 0.0154 |
| #4 | elsa | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Bobli | 2 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🤹 | 214 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | slizzarn | 142 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | yy | 69 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | elsa | 63 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | mb | 40 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yy | +3.30 | 63 | 74 |
| #2 | mb | +3.02 | 69 | 46 |
| #3 | slizzarn | +2.52 | 67 | 52 |
| #4 | Sötisblötis | +1.67 | 81 | 57 |
| #5 | 🤹 | +1.04 | 37 | 60 |





