








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 944 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Esplay | 66 matches | 1,722 | |
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




122 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4423 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3310 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2772 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 525 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 1721 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,037,987 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 467 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RövSlukaren | 50% | 26 |
| #2 | twitch.tv/sw3z_ | 44% | 55 |
| #3 | bebis inga riksdaler | 43% | 157 |
| #4 | Glenn | 40% | 65 |
| #5 | Sniffer | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glenn | 251 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | bebis inga riksdaler | 241 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Sniffer | 211 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #4 | RövSlukaren | 125 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | twitch.tv/sw3z_ | 62 | 0.06 | 1 min |





