








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 15 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
247 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 187 | 25% |
| Smokes | 155 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 196 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 217 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $69,431 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ︻芫 ——Uzii | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | UnknownAssassin | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Lul Tim | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | LeRoy | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | qRi | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | fuck inferno | 33% | 3 |
| #8 | Boogie | 27% | 11 |
| #9 | sanka | 25% | 4 |
| #10 | sn | 0% | 2 |
| #11 | fat a snicker | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boogie | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | fat a snicker | 1 | 0.0256 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ︻芫 ——Uzii | +3.49 | 57 | 48 |
| #2 | sanka | +2.95 | 92 | 68 |
| #3 | UnknownAssassin | +2.35 | 58 | 32 |
| #4 | qRi | +1.39 | 90 | 49 |
| #5 | Boogie | +1.27 | 87 | 59 |





