








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Esplay | 10 matches | 1,453 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2422 | 43% |
| Smokes | 873 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1297 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1098 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $685,423 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Was | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | JoppeV2 | 56% | 45 |
| #3 | Svenska Friberg | 53% | 93 |
| #4 | doxxii | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | Fentmaxxer026811 | 46% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Was | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | JoppeV2 | 56% | 45 |
| #3 | Svenska Friberg | 53% | 93 |
| #4 | doxxii | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | Fentmaxxer026811 | 46% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Svenska Friberg | 17 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | JoppeV2 | 10 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | Fentmaxxer026811 | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | doxxii | 7 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Svenska Friberg | 243 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | doxxii | 212 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | JoppeV2 | 154 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fentmaxxer026811 | 152 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Was | 107 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Was | +4.31 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | Svenska Friberg | +2.44 | 88 | 51 |
| #3 | JoppeV2 | +1.68 | 82 | 57 |
| #4 | Fentmaxxer026811 | +1.22 | 56 | 66 |
| #5 | doxxii | +0.08 | 82 | 61 |





