








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 322 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
654 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 454 | 22% |
| Smokes | 358 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 591 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 644 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $189,424 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | puro@bandit | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | Blocky | 38% | 16 |
| #6 | Arcijz | 33% | 12 |
| #7 | Batja Lukashenko | 27% | 11 |
| #8 | kasparins | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naga wc3 | 11 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Blocky | 4 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | puro@bandit | 4 | 0.0241 |
| #4 | Arcijz | 2 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | Batja Lukashenko | 2 | 0.0096 |





