








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2976 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1215 | 21% |
| Smokes | 338 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 1870 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2390 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $839,597 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | misterturdel | 22 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Maazzie | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Televisiion | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | $hawSa | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Goouigi | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | misterturdel | 124 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | $hawSa | 108 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Dobbyy | 102 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Goouigi | 76 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Maazzie | 63 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $hawSa | +1.24 | 50 | 46 |
| #2 | Goouigi | +1.19 | 59 | 48 |
| #3 | Dobbyy | +0.92 | 67 | 42 |
| #4 | Squiliam vonquiliam Fancyson III | +0.82 | 71 | 39 |
| #5 | Televisiion | +0.20 | 60 | 21 |





