








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1072 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,287 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 780 | 24% |
| Smokes | 875 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 827 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 805 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $665,433 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lover of The Russian Queen | 9 | 0.0145 |
| #2 | JayDoubleU | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Sinya Boy | 2 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | TSheesh | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lover of The Russian Queen | 267 | 0.43 | 8 min |
| #2 | JayDoubleU | 233 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | TSheesh | 45 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | heavy weight | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sinya Boy | 17 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heavy weight | +3.98 | 74 | 70 |
| #2 | Lover of The Russian Queen | +2.75 | 63 | 72 |
| #3 | TSheesh | +0.95 | 60 | 62 |
| #4 | JayDoubleU | +0.19 | 63 | 58 |
| #5 | derTroll | -2.32 | 58 | 46 |





